Blackadder and the Doctor
by RapidEyeMovement
Summary: BlackadderDoctor Who crossover. Various members of the Blackadder dynasty have brief encounters with various incarnations of the Doctor across British history.
1. Prince Edmund the Black Adder

**Disclaimer: **I do not own either _Blackadder_ or _Doctor Who_. They both belong to the BBC.

**Episode Placement: **Blackadder - During _The Foretelling_. Doctor Who - After _The War Games_ (during Season 6B).

**BLACKADDER AND THE DOCTOR**

Part One

**Leicestershire, England**

**August 22nd 1485**

"Well, we're lost," said Edmund as he and Baldrick wandered through a lonely wood. He dismounted his horse to get a look around, but everything looked so unfamiliar. He would never get to the battle now.

"It's our own fault for oversleeping, My Lord," said Baldrick.

"Yes, I know," sighed Edmund. "But I was looking forward to it. All the battling and such. Most fun, I imagine."

"Unless of course you got killed, My Lord."

"What?"

"Well," said Baldrick, "there's a good chance that one could get oneself killed, My Lord. Dangerous things, battles."

Edmund hadn't thought about that. He'd been so busy thinking about the glory of battle and impressing his father and Uncle Richard. And showing up his brother Harry of course.

"M-Maybe you're right, Baldrick," he stuttered.

He was about to suggest turning back and just pretending they had been at the battle, when he heard a strange sound.

"My Lord, look!" shouted Baldrick. He was pointing into the woods. A large blue box was now standing where before there was nothing.

"Wherever did that come from?" asked Edmund, staring at it perplexed.

Edmund and Baldrick slowly approached the box. Suddenly, a door in the side opened. They both ducked quickly behind a tree but continued to watch.

Two men exited from within the box. One was short with a mop of dark hair. He was dressed in very odd clothing. The other man was taller, younger, and wore a kilt. They were talking to each other.

"Ah yes, I think this is the right place," said the shorter man. "He should be about here somewhere."

"Doctor," said the younger man, "why do the Time Lords want us to talk to this man?"

"All will become clear, Jamie," he replied. "Just you wait and see." They both started looking around.

"Should we do something, My Lord?" whispered Baldrick.

Edmund was quite happy to hide until these men left. "Um, no Baldrick. If we just keep quiet, I'm sure-"

"Doctor!" shouted the younger man. He was pointing towards them.

"I say!" shouted the shorter man. "Who's there? Show yourselves!"

Edmund swallowed and stepped out from behind the tree. Putting on his best brave-sounding voice he said, "It is I, Lord Edmund of York!" He struggled to draw his sword, but it just wasn't coming free. "In the name of King Richard the Third, identify yourselves!" he said in a squeaky voice.

The shorter man tried to suppress a smile and held up his hands defensively. "You may relax, Lord Edmund. We are friends. I am called the Doctor and this is Jamie McCrimmon of the clan MacLaren. We mean you no harm."

Edmund nodded and stopped trying to remove his sword. He looked to Jamie. "You're Scottish?"

"Aye," said Jamie. "What of it?"

"I'm the Duke of Edinburgh," said Edmund proudly, expecting some sort of recognition.

Jamie simply nodded. "Of course you are." He looked to the Doctor. "An Englishman, Duke of Edinburgh. Some things never change."

"Um, are you going to the battle?" Edmund asked.

"I'm afraid not," said the Doctor.

Edmund sighed. "We are, but we seem to have lost our way."

The Doctor beamed a knowing smile. "I may be able to help you there. You are heading in the wrong direction." He pointed behind them. "It's just a few miles that way."

Baldrick grinned. "There we go, My Lord. Now we can get ourselves to the battle. Thank you very much, kind sir."

The Doctor clasped his hands together and gave Edmund a look of sincerity. "You're having second thoughts, aren't you, Lord Edmund?"

"No!" Edmund shot back defensively. "Well… Perhaps…"

The Doctor patted him on the shoulder. "Rest assured that the battle will go well, Lord Edmund. There will be glorious victory."

Edmund looked into the stranger's eyes. He gave off a strong and unusual feeling, as if he wasn't just _saying_ these things, but that he _knew_ them for a fact.

"Are you… Are you a seer?" he asked.

The Doctor's face didn't waver in the slightest. In a quiet and serious voice he said, "I have knowledge of future events, if that's what you mean."

The two of them simply stared at each other for a while before Jamie spoke up. "Uh, Doctor, hadn't we better be going?"

The Doctor clapped. "You're quite right, Jamie my boy. We really must be off now, Lord Edmund, but it was a pleasure to meet you."

"Yes," said Edmund, slightly confused. "Farewell, Doctor, and thank you for your assistance."

The Doctor and Jamie went back inside the TARDIS and watched Edmund and Baldrick on the scanner screen as they stood about confused for a while before leaving.

"Doctor, what's so important about that wee wet wisp of a man?"

The Doctor sighed. "He is responsible for the death of King Richard the Third at the Battle of Bosworth Field, Jamie."

"What?" cried Jamie in disbelief. "Him? He couldnae kill a dead fish."

"Hmm, but kill him he does."

Jamie thought for a moment. "If I remember my monarchs correctly, King Henry the Seventh would then take the throne?"

"Your history is excellent, my boy, but I'm afraid that you have memorized a lie."

"How d'you mean?"

"History, Jamie, is written by the winners. But that's not important now. When Lord Edmund kills King Richard he greatly alters the course of not only his own life but history itself. Never let appearances fool you. Even the smallest of men can change the world."

Jamie pondered these words for a moment. "So, is our work here done, Doctor?"

The Doctor nodded. "Very much so, Jamie. I don't expect to see much of the Black Adder in future."


	2. Lord Edmund Blackadder

**Episode placement: **Blackadder - Between _Head_ and _Potato_. Doctor Who - Between _Resurrection of the Daleks_ and _Planet of Fire_.

**BLACKADDER AND THE DOCTOR**

Part Two

**London, England**

**April 20th 1561**

Down a dark alley off a bustling London street, the grinding sound of the TARDIS could be heard as the alien timeship disguised as a blue police box - the likes of which wouldn't be around for another 400 years - materialized as if from thin air.

The doors opened and the Doctor exited followed by his companion Turlough, a red-haired young man from Trion. "Sorry about the bumpy landing," said the Doctor.

"Yes, Doctor, what was that all about? You said there'd been a malfunction?" said Turlough.

"Hm, yes," he replied. "The TARDIS's fluid link. It's prone to break down every so often. Pity I don't carry spares any more. Without it, the TARDIS is immobile in both space and time. That's why we had to make an emergency landing." He unrolled his white hat and placed it atop his blonde head as they walked out into the street.

"Where exactly are we, Doctor," asked Turlough as he surveyed his surroundings.

"England, Earth. Mid to late 16th century, I'd say," said the Doctor. "The Renaissance, Turlough. The Elizabethan Era. Some call it one of mankind's Golden Ages."

An elderly couple passed by the travelers. They were clad in rags and covered in dirt. The old man coughed and hacked.

"Not for everyone apparently," observed Turlough.

The Doctor nodded sadly. "C'mon." He led off down the street.

"Where are we going, Doctor?" said Turlough. "I thought the TARDIS was broken?"

"It is," said the Doctor.

"Well, shouldn't you be fixing it?"

"I told you, it needs a new fluid link and I don't keep spares any more."

Turlough was slightly annoyed at the way the Doctor would refuse to explain things simply, forcing Turlough to ask questions so as to make the Doctor look all-knowing. "So, are you going to make one?" he guessed.

The Doctor laughed. "Hardly. Even though it's one of the TARDIS's most basic components, it's still more advanced that anything humans will invent for another thousand years."

"So where are we going?" asked Turlough, getting slightly more annoyed yet still not showing it.

"Before it copped out, the TARDIS managed to locate another fluid link, and dropped us off as close as possible."

"Another fluid link?" said Turlough. "Who on 16th century Earth would have such a thing?"

The Doctor stopped in his tracks outside a building. "I've no idea, Turlough. But whoever they are, they're in this house."

* * *

"What in the Devil's name is all this?" yelled Blackadder as he found Percy and Baldrick in the living room surrounded by a variety of boxes and papers. 

"It's the stuff the Queen sent over, My Lord," said Baldrick.

"The what?"

"You remember, Edmund," said Percy. "The stuff that belonged to Leonardo da Vinci."

Blackadder suddenly remembered. Queen Elizabeth was going through an artsy phase and had bought a load of junk that supposedly belonged to the famous Italian artist Leonardo da Vinci. After his death, it had allegedly been stolen by robbers or something and had eventually found its way to England where the Queen had purchased it.

"Leonardo da Who?" Edmund had said when she told him.

"Come now, Blackadder," Melchett had said. "You don't know one of the greatest artists of our time?"

The bastard had made him look foolish in front of the Queen, so naturally Blackadder had acted as if he had been merely jesting and that he was really a huge fan of da Vinci's.

"Good," the Queen had said. "Then you can look over all the nice things I got and tell me about the best ones."

That was just like Her Majesty, wanting someone else to do everything for her, even the stuff she liked.

"That's right," said Blackadder. "I'm stuck with the miserable task of sorting through this worthless junk."

"Oh, I don't know," said Percy. "It's not all worthless."

Blackadder snatched the large book Percy was looking at off him and read it. The page was open on a sketched diagram of some complicated looking circular mechanism. "What's this, eh? _Volo a macchina_? What does that even mean?"

"Flying machine," said Baldrick.

Blackadder and Percy turned to look at him. "You speak Italian, Baldrick?" asked Blackadder, astonished.

"Just that one phrase, My Lord," Baldrick replied.

Blackadder, being abnormally patient with Baldrick, inhaled deeply. "You know how to say 'flying machine' in Italian and nothing else?"

"Yeah."

Edmund closed his eyes and struggled to think of where to begin. He eventually decided not to. "You see," he said to Percy, holding up the drawing. "Totally worthless, just like Baldrick's Italian."

There was a knock at the door. Baldrick went off to see who it was. Percy continued to flick through the sketchbook.

"Here's another interesting drawing, Edmund," said Percy, scrutinizing another page. "It's called a _macchina di tempo_. I wonder what that means."

"Time machine," said the Doctor as he entered the room, closely followed by Turlough and Baldrick. "I do apologies for barging in like this, but I've never been one to stand on ceremony."

"And you are?" asked Blackadder.

"I'm the Doctor and this young man is my associate Turlough." He looked around at the room. "I'd say from the looks of things, you gentlemen are collectors of the works of the great Leonardo da Vinci."

"What's it to you?" said Edmund.

"I too am something of a… collector of da Vinci artifacts."

"Oh God, another one," sighed Blackadder. "Look, I'm afraid this junk - sorry, these artifacts - don't really belong to me. I'm only sorting through them for their real owner."

"And who might that be?" asked the Doctor.

"Her Majesty the Queen," replied Blackadder snootily.

"Ah! Old Bess won't mind, I assure you. I'm only after the one thing and she won't even notice its absence. I'm also willing to pay for this particular item." The Doctor withdrew a sack of gold coins from his coat pocket.

Grinning widely, Blackadder accepted the coins. "So you're a Leonardo fanatic? Why didn't you say so? Please look around for your desired item."

"Thank you," said the Doctor as he and Turlough searched through the boxes. "Actually," said the Doctor as he searched, "I'm more than a fan of Leonardo. We're old friends."

"You were friends with Leonardo da Vinci?" said Percy.

"Don't be stupid, Percy," said Blackadder. "He's winding you up. Da Vinci died over forty years ago."

The Doctor simply grinned. "Yes, quite."

Percy held up the drawing again. "Um, what did you say this was again, Doctor?"

"A time machine," he replied. "Actually, let me see that." He looked over the drawing and chuckled. "Leo, you sly one," he said to himself. He shook his head and put the book down. "Don't worry about this," he said to Percy. "It's worthless."

"See," said Blackadder. "I told you so."

"A time machine?" said Percy. "You mean like one of those mechanical sundials from Germany? What are they called…?"

"Clocks," said Baldrick.

"Baldrick!" gasped Percy. "We have company. Mind your language!"

"Aha!" said the Doctor, holding up a small, squarish device. It was the fluid link. "Found it. Come on, Turlough, let's go." He shook Blackadder's hand. "Thank you very much for your assistance, Mister…?"

"Blackadder. Lord Edmund Blackadder."

The Doctor gave Blackadder a funny look. "You know, I could swear we've met before…"

"I doubt it," said Edmund.

The Doctor shook off his funny feeling. "Yes. Anyway, must dash."

As Turlough followed the Doctor he thrust some sketches into Blackadder's hand. "You may want to keep hold of these," he said. As the strange men left as quickly as they had arrived, Blackadder looked at the sketches. They were of a smiling woman.

"Utter junk," said Edmund, and he tossed the sketches back into a box.

While Blackadder and Percy weren't looking, Baldrick slid the sketchbook off the table.

* * *

"Doctor, how did a fluid link wind up amongst da Vinci's artifacts?" Turlough asked as they walked back towards the TARDIS. 

"I gave it to him," replied the Doctor. "Years ago. Back when I did keep spares. I gave old Leonardo a lot of his best ideas, you know. Including, apparently, plans for a time machine."

"Yes, Doctor," said Turlough. "Why did you give a 16th century human diagrams on how to build his own TARDIS?"

"I didn't mean to, Turlough. It was a long time ago, and we'd had an awful lot of wine." They had reached the TARDIS and the Doctor unlocked the door. "Anyway, from what I seen of the drawing, only the greatest genius who ever lived could turn those sketchy scribbles into a working time machine. Either that or a very lucky fool…"


	3. Mr E Blackadder, Esq

**Episode placement: **Blackadder - Between _Amy and Amiability_ and _Duel and Duality_. Doctor Who - Sometime between _Survival_ and _Enemy Within_.

**BLACKADDER AND THE DOCTOR**

Part Three

"Oh for a book and a shady nook…"

The Doctor strolled through the TARDIS's huge library, looking for something to engage his idle mind. Now well into his seventh incarnation, he had become rather somber of late.

Perhaps it was because he had been traveling without a companion for some time. Perhaps it was the new, spacious, gothic-looking control room he'd installed. Or perhaps he was simply feeling his age.

Something on the bookshelf caught his eye and he stopped to remove it. _The Time Machine_ by H.G. Wells. The Doctor smiled to himself as he realised that he had never actually read it. If he had learned anything in his nine hundred-odd years, it was that there's no time like the present.

"I suppose I owe you one, Bertie," said the Doctor as he sat in his favourite reading chair in the TARDIS control room. He opened the book and began to read.

_The Time Traveller (for so it will be convenient to speak of him) was expounding a recondite matter to us. His grey eyes shone and twinkled, and his usually pale face was flushed and animated._

That was as far as the Doctor got, for he was interrupted by a rather sharp jolt as the TARDIS rapidly changed course.

"Blast and confound it!" cried the Doctor. He pulled himself off the floor and clung to the central column, which rose and fell with its familiar grinding sounds. "It's always the same isn't it?" he asked no one in particular. "You're just getting into a good book when someone comes to the door, or the phone rings, or you get pulled off course!"

Just as suddenly as it had started, the TARDIS came to a rest. The time rotor stopped its movement and the Doctor checked his instruments. With a sigh he realised that he had been pulled to his home planet of Gallifrey. "What do you want now?" he said, thinking the Time Lords had caught up with him again.

As he stepped out of the TARDIS, he found himself in a large, and very old, stone-walled room with a casket in the middle. He had been here before. This was the Tomb of Rassilon, atop the Dark Tower, in Gallifrey's dreaded Death Zone.

The last time he had been here was very dangerous - and confusing - for all concerned. The megalomaniacal President Borusa had kidnapped the Doctor's first five incarnations as well as several of his previous companions, some Cybermen and the Master, and placed them all in the Death Zone. It had all been a diabolical scheme of Borusa's to gain immortality.

"Good to see you again, Doctor," came a booming voice from nowhere. "And good to see that it is just the one of you this time." Above the casket in the centre of the room, a great face appeared in mid-air.

The Doctor nodded. "Lord Rassilon." Rassilon was a revered figure in Time Lord history. He and Omega had worked together to create the Eye of Harmony, which powered their time travel experiments. While Omega was lost during the experiments, Rassilon managed to harness the Eye and even today it was still the power source for all TARDISes.

"Do you mind telling me," continued the Doctor, unfazed by the presence of a legend, "why you brought me here?"

"I have an important assignment for you," said Rassilon.

"Why me?" said the Doctor, curious. "Why can't you ask the Time Lords to do it?"

"It concerns the planet Earth, which I believe you are somewhat familiar with."

The Doctor nodded. "A little, yes."

"It also concerns your old nemesis the Master," said Rassilon.

"The Master?" The Doctor was genuinely shocked. "I honestly thought I'd finally seen the last of him. I should've known a little thing like certain death and impossible odds wouldn't stop him. What's he up to this time?"

"He plans to radically alter human history for the worse. He plans to erase Queen Victoria from history by having her father killed before her birth. I needn't tell you the ramifications of such an action."

"An Earth without Queen Victoria's influence," reflected the Doctor. "England without its Victorian Era…"

"Furthermore, he also plans to have King George the Fourth murdered when he was only Prince Regent. This too will greatly affect the timeline. Again, I needn't remind you of the dangers involved in altering Earth's timeline."

"Indeed," said the Doctor. "Well, I suppose I had better get going then…" He turned back towards the TARDIS.

"Doctor," said Rassilon. "There is one more thing. The Master also plans to kill a third man."

"Oh?"

"The royal butler. Edmund Blackadder."

The Doctor thought for a moment. "Blackadder? I've heard that name somewhere before…"

"Yes, Doctor," said Rassilon. "When you were in your second incarnation, I told the Time Lords to send you to assist one of his ancestors."

The Doctor snapped his fingers. "That's right! They told me to send him the right way to a battle or some such thing…"

"And then, in your fifth incarnation, I caused your TARDIS's fluid link to malfunction, forcing you to land in Earth's 16th century and meet his great-great-grandson."

"It was _you_ who made the fluid link malfunction?"

"Yes, Doctor."

"But… Why? Why is this family so important?"

Rassilon chuckled knowingly. "All in good time, Doctor. All in good time…"

* * *

**London, England**

**September 5th 1814**

Blackadder stepped through the doors of the Prince's royal chamber and announced the guest.

"His Royal Highness The Prince Edward Augustus Duke of Kent and Strathearn."

Prince George looked up. "Who?"

"Your brother, Your Highness," said Blackadder.

Prince Edward stepped through the door. "Don't tell me you've forgotten me already?" The future father of Queen Victoria looked similar to his brother George, if slightly younger, and was just as foolish. He wore a dark red military uniform, plastered with medals.

George leapt up. "Eddie! Well boil my britches until they're blue!" They embraced. "How the hell are you, you old scallywag?" asked George.

"Not bad at all," replied Edward. "How's father? Still mad as a duck in a dress?"

George nodded. "Madder. How's Gibraltar?"

"Wouldn't know. They've forbidden me from ever setting foot there again."

Both princes erupted into laughter. "That's my little brother!" George said to Blackadder, who had been watching them with a mixture of curiosity and contempt.

"Indeed, sir. There is quite a resemblance," said Blackadder. Under his breath, he whispered, "You're both idiots."

"I say, Blackadder," said Prince George, "fetch us some tea, would you? We've got lots of catching up to do."

Blackadder nodded. "Very good, sir."

* * *

"Who was that at the door?" asked Baldrick as Blackadder came downstairs into the kitchen.

"The only person in the world who could enter a 'World's Most Stupid and Incredibly Pompous Member of a Royal Family' competition with the Prince and tie."

"The King's here?" said Baldrick.

"No, Baldrick. There is a distinct difference between stupidity and madness: Madness is an excuse to act stupid, and stupidity is being naturally mad. You, however, have somehow achieved the best of both worlds."

Baldrick smiled proudly, in spite of himself.

"No," continued Blackadder, "that was the Prince's brother, Prince Edward."

"Oh," said Baldrick. "Isn't he in the Army?"

"He was in the Army but they kicked him out for being 'too harsh' to the soldiers."

"What did he do?"

"I'm not entirely sure, Baldrick, but when hairy, hard-faced, hard-arsed, hardly-got-a-brain-cell-between-them-but-could-kill-a-man-with-each-finger-twice soldiers complain that someone is being 'too harsh' to them, I really don't want to know about it. He's now Ranger of Hampton Court Park."

"And what does that mean then?"

"It means he's in charge of making sure people keep off the grass and that the ducks are well-fed."

There was a ring at the back door. "See who that is, Baldrick," said Blackadder. "It'll probably be Mrs. Miggins with her latest delivery of so-called food."

Baldrick returned, looking more blank-faced than usual, with a mysterious looking stranger. He was clad entirely in black, sported a small beard, and wore blacked-out spectacles.

"Good afternoon," said the stranger.

Blackadder looked to Baldrick, who hadn't said anything about the stranger's identity, then to the man himself. "And you are?"

"You may call me… Mr. Masters. You are Mr. Edmund Blackadder?"

"I am. What's it to you?"

"I have reason to believe that the Prince Regent's life is in grave danger. Someone is plotting to murder him. And I'm sure he will be very much obliged if you were to intervene. So much so that he would no doubt reward you handsomely…"

* * *

The TARDIS materialized in an empty room in the Palace. The Doctor emerged and begun searching for the princes.

When he found them, he could hear them conversing together in the main living room. _Good_, he thought. _I'm not too late._

"So tell me about this lady you've met," said Prince George.

"Well," said Edward, "her name is Victoria and she's a saucy little minx from… somewhere very damned hard to pronounce."

The princes once again erupted into boisterous laughter.

The Doctor decided to make his entrance. He strode as elegantly as possible into the room.

The princes leapt up immediately. "What is the meaning of this intrusion?" demanded Prince George. "Guards! Blackadder! Guards!"

"I assure you, Your Highness," said the Doctor, "that I mean no harm. I am here to save your life and the life of your brother."

"I say," said Edward, "damned sporting of you."

"Yes, indeed," said George, calming down. "Who are you?"

"I am the Doctor, Your Highness."

"Doctor? Doctor who? Are we dying of some horrid disease or something?"

"No, Your Highness," said the Doctor.

"Actually, now that you mention it," said Prince Edward, "I've got this sort of rash on my…"

"No, Your Highness!" said the Doctor louder. "I'm not that kind of doctor. I am here to stop someone very evil from murdering the both of you."

Suddenly Blackadder and Baldrick burst into the room. "Your Highnesses, get back! This man intends to murder you both!" yelled Blackadder.

"Er, no, Blackadder," said George. "I think you've got it wrong. This chap is here to stop us getting murdered."

"Merely a clever ruse, Your Highness. He is in fact a master assassin."

"Who told you this?" said the Doctor, as everyone slowly backed away from him.

"A gentleman named Mr. Masters, who has kindly left to get help."

"It's this 'Masters' who intends to murder you, Your Highness, not I," said the Doctor.

"But, er, how can he," said Edward, "if he's already left?"

"You're right, you're right," said the Doctor, mulling over possibilities. "Of course," he said to himself. "He's got us all in one room: Me, the princes, Blackadder… He's going to take us all out. But how?" Out the corner of his eye, the Doctor saw Baldrick reach into his coat pocket. "Stop him!" he yelled. "He's got something in his hand!"

The Doctor went swiftly for Baldrick and managed to pry a small vial out of his hand.

The Doctor held it up to the light. "Poison. In a gaseous state. It would have killed us all."

"Baldrick!" cried Prince George. "How dare you! I know you've always been envious of my impressive trouser collection, but this is too far."

The Doctor was about to speak, but Blackadder cut him off. "I fear, Your Highness, that Baldrick may not be himself."

"You're quite right," said the Doctor. Baldrick had been perfectly silent, but the Doctor clicked his fingers in front of his face, bringing him back to life.

"What's going on?" asked a more-confused-than-usual Baldrick.

"Your little friend was under hypnosis," said the Doctor. "But how did you know?"

"Two reasons," said Blackadder. "One: Baldrick has been comfortably silent since Masters arrived. And two: Baldrick is, and I flatter him too much, a moron. He could not slap the Prince, let alone murder him."

The Doctor shook his head. "I think you underestimate Mr. Baldrick. There's more to him than meets the eye."

"The same could be said about shepherd's pie. That doesn't mean it's intelligent. Anyway, who the hell are you?"

"Just passing by," said the Doctor. "Did this 'Masters' say where he was going?"

"No, he just left by the kitchen…"

The Doctor ran off as everyone stood in confusion. "What an odd man," said Prince George.

* * *

The Doctor burst out the kitchen door into the street. He did not really expect to catch the Master, so he was genuinely surprised to find him simply waiting on the street.

"I should have known not to underestimate you," said the Master.

"Very clever, Master. Killing Prince Edward before he fathers Victoria. What inspired you this time?"

The Master shrugged. "I just happened to be… passing by."

The Doctor pointed to the Master's dark glasses. "Still suffering from the Cheetah disease, I see?"

"Not for long, Doctor. For you see, I have discovered a way to hold back death."

"Impossible," said the Doctor. "Not even a Time Lord is immortal."

The Master grinned evilly. "Care to bet your life on that?" He laughed. "I'm afraid I must leave you now, Doctor, but we _shall_ meet again, mark my words. And it shall be for the last time." He laughed his insidious laugh once more before activating a small handheld device.

The Doctor was too late to stop him before he was transmatted away. As he navigated the palace back to the TARDIS undetected, the Doctor pondered over the Master's words. He was no doubt merely talking for the sake of hearing his own voice, but what if he had found a way to cheat death? He also wondered why Rassilon considered the Blackadder family so crucial to history.

_All in good time_, he thought to himself. _All in good time_.


	4. Capt Edmund Blackadder

**Episode placement: **For Blackadder - After _Goodbyeee…_ For the Doctor - After _The Christmas Invasion_.

**BLACKADDER AND THE DOCTOR**

Part Four

**Ypres, Belgium**

**October 30th 1917**

"Bollocks!"

Captain Edmund Blackadder lay on his back in the waste that was No Man's Land. He was injured and knew he had only moments to live.

"What utter bollocks!" he declared to no one. "They can't even kill me properly. The bastards!"

He looked around him at his fallen comrades. He remembered all the moments he had ridiculed George, verbally sparred with Darling and physically harmed Baldrick and he realised that he would miss them. Despite everything he had said and done to them over the years, they were the closest things he'd ever had to friends. He had never told them that.

Soon, he thought as he looked down at his blood-stained uniform, he would be following them. That thought frightened Blackadder. He realised that this was it. The end. No more of him. Not just that, but no more Blackadders. There was no one to carry on the family.

Then he saw the strangest sight of his life. Just a few yards in front of him, a large blue box slowly materialized from nowhere, accompanied by a grinding sound. Blackadder stared at it curiously. Then a door opened in the side of the box and a man stuck his head out.

He looked quite young, had brown, messy hair, and wore a dark pinstriped suit with a large brown coat over it. When he spotted Blackadder, he ran quickly over and crouched beside him.

His eyes showed that he was concerned with Blackadder's injuries, but his voice did not betray it. "Ah, Captain Edmund Blackadder, I presume?" He spoke with a Cockney accent.

"Who… Who are you?" croaked Blackadder.

"Shhh. Try not to speak, Captain. You've lost a lot of blood. I'm called the Doctor, by the way."

"I'm not going to make it, am I?"

The Doctor looked Blackadder in the eye and shook his head heavily.

Blackadder sighed. "Oh well. I suppose it's time to make my peace with God and repent for all my sins… Unfortunately, I enjoyed them far too much."

The Doctor laughed.

"My only regret," he continued, "is that I never had any children. No one to carry on the Blackadder legacy."

"I've got good news for you," said the Doctor. He reached into his coat and produced an envelope. "This is for you, but unfortunately, you went over the top before it could be delivered." He handed it to Blackadder. It was addressed to him and he opened it. He read the letter inside.

_Dearest Edmund,_

_I doubt that you will remember me for it was so long ago that we met. My name is Leia and I had just moved to England from Hungary when we met in August of 1914. I have since settled in very well, though some aspects of British culture still confuse me. The Post Office alone is baffling._

_When we met, I was a young girl of 19 and I believed you when you told me you were leaving for the War the next day. Unfortunately for you,your lie was founded in fact.Since then, the years have matured me. The years and motherhood. You see, Edmund, our brief union left me with-child. You have a son, Edmund. My mother insisted that we give him away, being born out of wedlock, but I simply could not. Now that he is 3 years old, she tells me that she is glad for my decision all the time. His name is Edmund, after his father. I have decided that when he is old enough I will tell him all about you._

_I don't know how you will react to this news, but if you could respond I would be much obliged. I just could not keep it a secret much longer. I only hope that you survive this terrible War and return home to us safely._

_Yours with love,_

_Leia._

Blackadder lowered the letter. "She tells him all about you, y'know." said the Doctor. "And, at the age of eighteen, he runs away from home and takes your surname. So you see, Edmund, you are not the last of the Blackadders. You are integral to human history. There's always been a Blackadder. You family lives on for a _very_ long time."

Blackadder looked up at the stranger. "Who are you?" he asked for the second time.

The Doctor grinned. "Just an old friend of the family."


End file.
